Spider Guts All Over My Finger! Gross!!

I like bugs. I do not, however, like poisonous black widow spiders living underneath my patio furniture. When this happens, I like to introduce these widow spiders to a friend of mine: the hammer. (And that's not a nickname for something. I really just mean a big ol' hammer.)

This evening, one particularly meaty spider decided, for whatever reason, that she was intent on doing as much harm to me (sans biting) as she could, and in her last, vain attempt at vengeance--at the moment of hammer-to-spider impact--she sprayed her disgusting insides all over my finger. It was gross. Really, really gross.

I guess that'll teach me.

Dear Whoever Stole My Library Books and CD's From My Car

Dear Whoever Stole My Library Books and CD's From My Car,

I hope you enjoy the soundtrack to Rudy, and that you return David Rakoff's book of autobiographical essays, "Don't Get Too Comfortable," back to the library on-time. I probably wouldn't have, but, hey.

Sincerely,
Ben